A Surprisingly Simple Way To Get Over Your Fear Of Public Speaking

11/23/2017

Public Speaking

Admittedly I have always been a better writer than speaker…

But that doesn’t mean to give up.

As a kid I took acting classes, which cured my anxiety around speaking in front of crowds of people overtime (woooo!) But somewhere along the way I lost that skill after years of hiding in the background out of fear of judgement (sad face). When I finally emerged once again in college with the realization that I have a voice and a message worth hearing… I discovered anxiety had took the driver’s seat, with my confidence hog tied in the back. Major bummer.

I stuttered in front of small crowds at various open mic nights while I read my poetry. It felt like the spotlight was an incoming train, and the room warped around me in tunnel vision. Awesome.

Had difficulty speaking up when hosting a Mastermind group. I had a tendency to shy away from talking positively about myself and my voice shook. 

And I avoided doing workshops that I knew I was fully capable of. Because if I couldn’t stand on a stage and read from a piece of paper for five minutes, then how was I supposed to do beyond that for an hour?

As you can see, a bit of a conundrum.

But then something magical happened last year. I bite the bullet and started a youtube channel. I started experimenting with speaking my thoughts in a more confident manner and noticied how good it felt. Best part was that I got to do it in the comfort of my own home, so there was more of a safe net involved.

I believe that it is super important getting used to being in the position of speaking your truth, and sitting in front of my camera I found did exactly that. Speaking in front of a camera set up my foundation for being more comfortable speaking off camera. BOOM. So simple yet so important.

Another huge thing you learn when filming yourself is how your tone, facial expression, and other mannerism come out when you speak (I wasn’t aware previously of how many times I look like I am rolling my eyes out of my head… super embarrassing). As uncomfortable as it might be to watch yourself (and the realizations that come along with it), it’s super important. Just this one aspect alone has tremendously improved my public speaking abilities.

You can then see if you’re monotone and how to switch it up, or how unenthused or excited you look… among various other important details.

It’s important to note here:

Don’t be too overly critical of yourself. Don’t stare at your nose too long wondering if everyone can tell your nostrils are not symmetrical (I pondered this too long anyway), and don’t judge the way your mouth moves when you speak. It’s you, it’s who you are, learn to love it regardless of the fact that the illusion of how you thought you were perceived has just been shattered. It is going to be okay, knowledge is good, and now you know what to work on.

The more you practice recording yourself, the better you are going to get (really though). And you are also going to learn a whole lot more about yourself in the process. So forget the lifevest, if you’re going to dive in, dive deep. Enjoy the process. It’s a very personal experience, take your time and be honest with yourself.

I know that my first few videos were super serious. Because when I am nervous I become serious as a defence mechanism to protect myself from judgement (I wasn’t aware of that before). Then over the course of six months of recording I noticed I started to soften up and become more vulnerable. And even better, recently I have become more comfortable being more playful! Total 180! Which is bringing me closer to who I really am on the inside, a playful person that I never got to fully express before.

Through recording my videos I’ve not only learned how to be a better public speaker, but learning more about who I am inside underneath it all.

It’s a beautiful process and I highly recommend it if you are serious about improving your public speaking abilities.

May you talk to yourself with confidence!

Much love as always, I hope this helps you as much as it did for me,

Sara